At Least He's Not Dating a Druggie!
by Blair Cottonelle
Summary: Goku spies on Gohan and his "Girlfriend." Thinking she is a bad influence on him. Only to find out that "she" is a "he" and he is Piccolo. Written for anyone who needs a good laugh. Nothing too serious. Stands as a one shot, but if you think I should continue then just say so!


NORMAL POV

"Ready?" Goku asked turning on the TV screen that was connected to a small wireless camera. The Television was in the living room with Goku and his friends, Krillin and Yamcha...Vegeta had invited himself. He thought tonight would be _amusing. _

The small wireless camera was following Gohan around. Goku knew it was wrong to spy on him while he was with his girlfriend, but Chichi suspected something was wrong with this girl- seeing as Gohan has refused to tell them anything about her. The only piece of information Gohan supplied is that she was a girl...

Even Goku had his suspicions...he could be dating a drug dealer!

"I'll be damned if my kids gonna become a druggie." Goku mumbled.

"Kakarot, calm down. She's probably just ugly." Vegeta laughed.

"Well, were about to find out." Goku said grabbing a remote.

The TV flashed and then an image of Gohan popped up on it, he was smiling and lieying on a couch.

"My parents want to meet you." he said.

Goku assumed he was talking to his girlfriend so he turned the volume up on the TV.

"They already know me." he heard Piccolo say.

"Why is Piccolo there?" He asked. Everyone just shrugged or said they didn't know. Goku turned the volume up some more...to be sure it was Piccolo because he was still off screen.

"They want to meet my _girlfriend._" Gohan corrected.

"I'm not your girlfriend."

"No but..."

"Are you going to tell them?"

"TELL WHO WHAT?! AND THAT IS DEFINATELY PICCOLO!" Goku shouted turning the volume up some more. Vegeta snatched the controller away from him and turned the volume down to a reasonable level.

"You'll get this back when you can handle It." he told Goku.

"I want to tell them...but, they think that you're my girlfriend."

"They think I'm you're girlfriend?" Piccolo laughed, finally coming into view of the camera.

"They know I'm dating someone...so I told them I was dating a girl. I don't know if I'm ready to come out yet."

Goku sat stunned.

"Piccolo and Gohan?" Yamcha asked.

"That's kind of...gross." Krillin said.

"I agree not only is he gay, but he's dating a namek. What an insult to the Saiyan race!" Vegeta shouted.

They turned to the TV screen just in time to see Piccolo and Gohan kiss. Goku quickly stole the remote back from Vegeta and turned the TV off.

"I don't need to see anymore." he said.

"I'm sorry Goku." Krillin said.

"Why are you sorry?"

"Because...Gohan is gay."

"And he's dating Piccolo." Yamcha added.

"And he's ugly!" Vegeta said.

"Vegeta!" Yamcha shouted.

"What? I thought we were stating the obvious. My bad." he said and sat back down on the couch next to Goku.

"Okay fine, let's state the obvious. Gohan is dating Piccolo, he may or may not be gay." Goku said.

"Why did he kiss Piccolo if he's not gay?" Yamcha asked.

"Bisexual? Bicurious? I don't know!"

"Let's turn the screen back on, Goku. We didn't get enough information." Krillin said.

"Yeah…and Piccolo isn't all that bad. At least he's not a drug dealer." Yamcha said.

"This whole thing disgusts me." Vegeta said.

They all paid attention as Goku tentatively turned the TV back on.

"I hate you." Gohan laughed on screen.

"Ha, alright." Piccolo said, once again off screen.

"I'm gonna have my dad beat you up."

"You'd have to tell him why."

"YOU CHEATED!" Gohan shouted.

"Cheated at what?" Krillin wondered out loud. Goku shrugged.

"No you're just slow." Piccolo said.

"If you give me a blowjob, I'll forgive you." Gohan said.

"Ha! Suck your own dick."

"I can't. My body doesn't bend that way…"

"If it did…would you?" Piccolo asked.

"Hell no. Would you?"

"Maybe. You don't do it often enough."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me." Piccolo said, with slight amusement in his voice.

"Well you know I get busy, with school and stuff…"

"You still find time for me to suck yours though…can't be too busy with school and stuff."

"I reciprocate!" Gohan yelled.

"Rarely." Piccolo laughed.

"I'll reciprocate, right now if you want!" Gohan yelled.

GOKU POV

"NO!" I yelled.

Vegeta put a hand over my mouth.

"Shut up Kakarot." He said.

I turned my attention back towards the screen. Where Piccolo was unbuttoning his pants. Gohan knelt down and started stroking him.

"I do not want to see this." Krillin said.

"Then turn away. I've never seen gay porn." Yamcha said.

Vegeta laughed with his hand still over my mouth.

I heard Piccolo's low moans through the TV as my son (who is forever and permanently grounded by the way) gave him a blowjob.

"This is really good blackmail material." Vegeta said.

"No!" I said moving his hand away from my mouth.

"Gohan…" I looked as Piccolo said my son's name. It was terrible.

"I've never seen Piccolo come so undone like this." Krillin said.

"I've never seen Gohan do something so taboo…" Yamcha said.

"He is grounded." I said.

**A/N: Soooo…I think this stands pretty well as a oneshot. I tried writing other chapters for it and I guess I could add them. Thing is this is just a random fanfic. I don't even think this one makes sense. It's just for laughs, extremely inappropriate laughs. I actually make myself laugh with my own writing sometimes. **


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